Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
