Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
