there was a trapeze. enough said
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
