every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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