it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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