How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
