this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
