so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
