Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So vagazzling was a success
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
