are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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