You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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