I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
