I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
