6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
