she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I want to fling myself into the sun
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
