I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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