Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
