I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
