I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
