i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
