I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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