Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
