im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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