he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
