bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
