he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
