Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
