I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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