I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i drank out of a bidet.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
