Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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