So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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