Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
