You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
