I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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