oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
