god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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