How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
