so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
