we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
