I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
