I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
