One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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