Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
