just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
