If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
