I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
