so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
