I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
