one two three fourrrrnication!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
