I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
